Putting an I in Me

 
I am everything to everyone, but often fail myself.

I make sure my kids get to bed early so they are healthy, well-rested, and ready for the next day, but I am regularly sleep-deprived. I treat my kids to “date with Mommy” where they choose how they want to be spoiled, but I don’t plan a date with my Mom, husband, or make time to be alone. I read and reread books to my kids, but don’t read books that nourish my soul or will help me achieve my educational goals. I read and reread dissertations for fellow graduate students, but I do not make the time to write mine.  I listen to my friends talk about their struggles, but I don’t burden them with things that are bothering me, and so on. I talk negatively to myself, would never accept someone to treat me the way I treat myself, and I ignore my own needs.  

From today, I resolve to treat ME as well as I treat others.

New Year's Resolutions

I go to yoga, not as often as I should, but when I'm in a groove I never miss Sunday at 4pm.  This is my favorite class of the week.  Maybe because it allows me to get centered before the juggling of getting kids off to school, being at work (and on time!), homework, dinners, and the last minute everything that starts on Monday.  Or maybe because the instructor is tough (really, it's a LONG triangle pose) and always reads a reflection that speaks to me.  Tonight's reflection was about winter and that although it seems bleak and cold, it is a time of quiet growth before the lushness of spring and summer.  After tonight's reflection, the instructor told us that within two weeks of the new year most people have three resolutions they haven't kept, and if this is true for us, we should vow to keep them.  I only have one resolution I haven't kept this year - writing 30 minutes each day so I can finally finish up my dissertation proposal so I can defend.  The truth, I haven't written one word.  I haven't even looked at my draft.  So, tomorrow I start.  30 minutes of quiet growth so I can bloom in spring and defend.

You have to start somewhere...

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting - Buddha

We all have to start somewhere.  As babies we start by rolling over and 12 months later we are pretty steady on our feet and exploring the world - even if that just means pulling all the pots and pans out of the kitchen cabinets.  So, this is my start.  Today I pushed myself and I was able to roll over and start a blog.  I'm positive that I'll be walking (and trashing the kitchen) pretty soon.